So this morning Big Dude cut his hair and I mentioned that he really should try a mohawk sometime. Being the straight-as-an-arrow guy he is, Big Dude was not amused. So Little Dude piped up in his defense, "Mommy, no mohawks!"
I replied, "You don't even know what a mohawk is."
"Yes-huh!"
"What is it then?"
"It's like this." Little Dude held his finger across the center of his eyebrows.
I said, "No, that's a unibrow!"
"Then it's this." Little Dude held his finger across the bottom of his nose.
"No, that's a moustache."
I could see a light bulb go on in his eyes. Then Little Dude said, "Oh! I know what a mohawk is!"
"What is it?"
He sat down and put his knee up to his chest. "It's when you get big like Daddy and you have hair up and down your legs." He emphasized his statement by rubbing his shin.
Don't worry. After I stopped laughing, I finally explained mohawks to Little Dude.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Kindergarten Casanova
So last week, Little Dude managed to come home with green smileys three days in a row. We thought we have finally overcome the bad behavior issues and were looking forward to happier colors of the rainbow.
But then Friday happened...
When I got home Friday evening, Daddy and Little Dude were waiting in the living room.
"Your son came home with purple today," Daddy announced. Then he turned to my son, "Tell Mommy why."
"Um... I kissed a girl and I hit my friend."
My child's school life sounded like a bad soap opera.
Hubby interjected, "Not at the same time."
Luckily, years of experience with interviewing people for their product testimonies to use on infomercials has given me the skills needed to interrogate, I mean, question my child.
"Tell me what happened."
"Um, I kissed a girl on accident and then I hit my friend"
"Who was the girl?"
"Jessica. She sits by me."
"Why did you kiss her?"
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to."
"What happened that made you kiss her?"
"She was asking me the name of a boy and I, um, was whispering 'Geovanni' to her and our noses were, um, touching and I forgot and I accidentally kissed her." He finished the line with the world's cutest shy-smile ever leaving me to wonder how accidental it truly was.
"And did she tell the teacher?"
"No."
"Did the teacher see it happen?"
"Yes."
"Was Jessica embarrassed that you kissed her?"
"I think so."
During the entire inquisition, my husband and I were both trying not to smile or laugh. It's wasn't easy.
"So tell me why you hit your friend."
"He hit me too."
"Where were you when this happened?"
"We were in the reading area and I was bopping him on the head like this," he said as he proceeded to curl his little fist and bop himself on the head. "And then, then he got mad and hit me back."
"And then what happened?"
"And then we went to the Principal's office."
"So you both got into trouble?"
"Yeah. He hit me."
"But you hit him first."
So Little Dude is not only learning about letters, numbers, colors, and shapes in Kindergarten. He is also learning to keep his hands and his lips to himself.
Who knows what lessons he'll be learning this week!
But then Friday happened...
When I got home Friday evening, Daddy and Little Dude were waiting in the living room.
"Your son came home with purple today," Daddy announced. Then he turned to my son, "Tell Mommy why."
"Um... I kissed a girl and I hit my friend."
My child's school life sounded like a bad soap opera.
Hubby interjected, "Not at the same time."
Luckily, years of experience with interviewing people for their product testimonies to use on infomercials has given me the skills needed to interrogate, I mean, question my child.
 |
| *Names are screened to protect the guilty party. |
"Um, I kissed a girl on accident and then I hit my friend"
"Who was the girl?"
"Jessica. She sits by me."
"Why did you kiss her?"
"It was an accident. I didn't mean to."
"What happened that made you kiss her?"
"She was asking me the name of a boy and I, um, was whispering 'Geovanni' to her and our noses were, um, touching and I forgot and I accidentally kissed her." He finished the line with the world's cutest shy-smile ever leaving me to wonder how accidental it truly was.
"No."
"Did the teacher see it happen?"
"Yes."
"Was Jessica embarrassed that you kissed her?"
"I think so."
During the entire inquisition, my husband and I were both trying not to smile or laugh. It's wasn't easy.
"So tell me why you hit your friend."
"He hit me too."
"Where were you when this happened?"
"We were in the reading area and I was bopping him on the head like this," he said as he proceeded to curl his little fist and bop himself on the head. "And then, then he got mad and hit me back."
"And then what happened?"
"And then we went to the Principal's office."
"So you both got into trouble?"
"Yeah. He hit me."
"But you hit him first."
So Little Dude is not only learning about letters, numbers, colors, and shapes in Kindergarten. He is also learning to keep his hands and his lips to himself.
Who knows what lessons he'll be learning this week!
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Curse of the Rainbow, Part 2
So after a weekend of Behavior Boot Camp, Little Dude was ready to listen to his teacher and be a model of good behavior. We expected him to start earning some higher rainbow colors... or at least stay on green.
So Monday, when he came home with a purple, we were shocked. Seriously, purple? And another note from the teacher explaining that Little Dude is a very friendly child and tends to talk to his friends when they're supposed to be working.
Yes, that pretty much sounds like him.
So that evening, Little Dude wrote an apology letter to his teacher:
That afternoon, Little Dude came home with... green! He stayed on green all day. The next day, he came home with green again! This time he actually got up to yellow, but then went back down to green.
I asked him if anyone has made it to red yet. "No."
"Has anyone made it to orange."
"One person did."
"Who was it?"
"I don't know. It wasn't me."
So Monday, when he came home with a purple, we were shocked. Seriously, purple? And another note from the teacher explaining that Little Dude is a very friendly child and tends to talk to his friends when they're supposed to be working.
Yes, that pretty much sounds like him.
So that evening, Little Dude wrote an apology letter to his teacher:
 |
| *Names have been blurred out to protect the innocent and guilty! |
Little Dude decided exactly what he wanted to say in the letter and I helped him spell everything out. But, yes, that is his own handwriting. AND his own apology.
The next morning when I walked him to his class, I met another mother who said her son has been bringing home purples and even a pink! She admitted she called the teacher up and argued that her son could not have possibly deserved a pink because he is always so well-behaved.
It's nice to know I'm not alone on the crazy, defensive mom train.
The next morning when I walked him to his class, I met another mother who said her son has been bringing home purples and even a pink! She admitted she called the teacher up and argued that her son could not have possibly deserved a pink because he is always so well-behaved.
It's nice to know I'm not alone on the crazy, defensive mom train.
I asked him if anyone has made it to red yet. "No."
"Has anyone made it to orange."
"One person did."
"Who was it?"
"I don't know. It wasn't me."
We're just glad to see that his behavior is finally improving!
Monday, August 6, 2012
Curse of the Rainbow, Part 1
So Little Dude started Kindergarten and the world rejoiced. What teacher would not want a completely brilliant child like him in their class? He knows his alphabet sounds, is able to write all his letters, can count to 100 (and to 10 in Spanish), and is starting to read. Yes... I'm bragging because my child is a freaking awesome genius! (Seriously, all mothers should think that about their child. It's our job!)
But Kindergarten has some differences from Pre-K. For one thing, there are a lot more rules. And being the start of the year, the rules are enforced a little more strictly. The teacher tracks each child's behavior on a rainbow chart. They all start with their names on green and they can move up or down depending on how well they behave. Red is reserved for only the most astoundingly well-behaved child. Purple is for the child who tends to tune out the teacher. And they even added pink below purple, which means, uh oh, time to talk to the teacher!
Our child has always been the model of good behavior, so we were positive he was going to come back with red, or at least orange or yellow on his first day.
But that wasn't the case. He came home with blue. OK, no problem, we thought, it's just the first day and he's adjusting. We had high hopes for the next day.
He came home with purple. Purple! The offensively violet smiley face (as if!) came with a note attached saying that Little Dude was having trouble listening to the teacher, but she was sure that once he adjusted to the new class, that he would be much better.
I've already learned that Little Dude doesn't want to talk about school after he gets home. Instead, he usually talks about it during the morning drive to school. So I was shocked the next morning when Little Dude said, "I'm not ready for Kindergarten."
"Who said that?"
"The teacher."
"What happened?"
"When I went down to purple, I cried and the teacher said maybe I'm not ready for Kindergarten."
What?!? I had to get to the bottom of this. So being the mother of a child genius that I am, I emailed the teacher and told her what my honest-as-Abe-Lincoln child said and that I was hoping for a misunderstanding.
She called me.
Now, I know that she has 30 other students and at least 30 other parents to contend with. So getting a call from the teacher during the lunch break on the 3rd day of school is like getting a call from the Pope.
It was all a big misunderstanding. Thank goodness! But she could understand how Jacob could have thought she said he wasn't ready. She explained they are focused on getting ready for 1st Grade, and she tells them that they need to learn these things in order to be ready for the next grade level. And I know my child... he definitely reads between the lines. She also explained that she is much tougher at the beginning of the year and that blue is not actually a "bad color," but a warning.
She then told me that it's especially hard to get after Little Dude when he's just so charming. She said, "One of the things the kids all need to learn is how to settle down after activity." That morning, the kids were running around the classroom for half an hour matching colors and shapes. When it was time to return to their seats and settle down, she asked the kids to be quite. They were pretty noisy so she told them that the next student to talk would "clip down" to a lower color. All the kids were quiet... except mine. He started singing. Yes, singing!
She told him that he was supposed to stop talking or else he'll clip down. He replied, "But I'm not talking. I'm singing. It's different."
She couldn't clip him down for such valid reasoning. Instead, she modified her orders to "no talking and no singing."
After our wonderful conversation, I felt so much better and was looking forward to seeing her at back-to-school BBQ that night.
Little Dude and I heading back to school that night for some fun and pulled pork. He was less interested in the food and more interested in the fun. He was ran around like a wild child: not listening to me, not listening to anyone. Holy smoke stack! The child that I had just hours earlier defended like a courtroom lawyer, just proved that he really isn't the world's most well-behaved child. He hogged the ball while playing basketball. He ran to the opposite side of the field when I called him over. He ignored his teacher when she said hi. He stood on a desk. Yes! Stood on a desk. Basically, he behaved like a spoiled rock star!
Wow. I cannot even express the level of embarrassment I felt. I know kids will embarrass their parents from time to time, but I was not ready for this. This was bad. Fall on your face and accidentally expose yourself to the entire world bad. That's pretty much how I felt.
So last weekend, we had Behavior Boot Camp. It's a very prestigious academy where only the most qualified children (meaning worst behaving child geniuses) get in. In fact, only one child has ever made the cut. Little Dude relearned how to say please and thank you. Little Dude relearned how to be polite. Little Dude relearned how to listen the first time when asked.
We're hoping the boot camp will help whip Little Dude back into the amazingly well-behaved child we know he is. Stay tuned...
But Kindergarten has some differences from Pre-K. For one thing, there are a lot more rules. And being the start of the year, the rules are enforced a little more strictly. The teacher tracks each child's behavior on a rainbow chart. They all start with their names on green and they can move up or down depending on how well they behave. Red is reserved for only the most astoundingly well-behaved child. Purple is for the child who tends to tune out the teacher. And they even added pink below purple, which means, uh oh, time to talk to the teacher!
Our child has always been the model of good behavior, so we were positive he was going to come back with red, or at least orange or yellow on his first day.
But that wasn't the case. He came home with blue. OK, no problem, we thought, it's just the first day and he's adjusting. We had high hopes for the next day.
He came home with purple. Purple! The offensively violet smiley face (as if!) came with a note attached saying that Little Dude was having trouble listening to the teacher, but she was sure that once he adjusted to the new class, that he would be much better.
I've already learned that Little Dude doesn't want to talk about school after he gets home. Instead, he usually talks about it during the morning drive to school. So I was shocked the next morning when Little Dude said, "I'm not ready for Kindergarten."
"Who said that?"
"The teacher."
"What happened?"
"When I went down to purple, I cried and the teacher said maybe I'm not ready for Kindergarten."
What?!? I had to get to the bottom of this. So being the mother of a child genius that I am, I emailed the teacher and told her what my honest-as-Abe-Lincoln child said and that I was hoping for a misunderstanding.
She called me.
Now, I know that she has 30 other students and at least 30 other parents to contend with. So getting a call from the teacher during the lunch break on the 3rd day of school is like getting a call from the Pope.
It was all a big misunderstanding. Thank goodness! But she could understand how Jacob could have thought she said he wasn't ready. She explained they are focused on getting ready for 1st Grade, and she tells them that they need to learn these things in order to be ready for the next grade level. And I know my child... he definitely reads between the lines. She also explained that she is much tougher at the beginning of the year and that blue is not actually a "bad color," but a warning.
She then told me that it's especially hard to get after Little Dude when he's just so charming. She said, "One of the things the kids all need to learn is how to settle down after activity." That morning, the kids were running around the classroom for half an hour matching colors and shapes. When it was time to return to their seats and settle down, she asked the kids to be quite. They were pretty noisy so she told them that the next student to talk would "clip down" to a lower color. All the kids were quiet... except mine. He started singing. Yes, singing!
She told him that he was supposed to stop talking or else he'll clip down. He replied, "But I'm not talking. I'm singing. It's different."
She couldn't clip him down for such valid reasoning. Instead, she modified her orders to "no talking and no singing."
After our wonderful conversation, I felt so much better and was looking forward to seeing her at back-to-school BBQ that night.
Little Dude and I heading back to school that night for some fun and pulled pork. He was less interested in the food and more interested in the fun. He was ran around like a wild child: not listening to me, not listening to anyone. Holy smoke stack! The child that I had just hours earlier defended like a courtroom lawyer, just proved that he really isn't the world's most well-behaved child. He hogged the ball while playing basketball. He ran to the opposite side of the field when I called him over. He ignored his teacher when she said hi. He stood on a desk. Yes! Stood on a desk. Basically, he behaved like a spoiled rock star!
Wow. I cannot even express the level of embarrassment I felt. I know kids will embarrass their parents from time to time, but I was not ready for this. This was bad. Fall on your face and accidentally expose yourself to the entire world bad. That's pretty much how I felt.
So last weekend, we had Behavior Boot Camp. It's a very prestigious academy where only the most qualified children (meaning worst behaving child geniuses) get in. In fact, only one child has ever made the cut. Little Dude relearned how to say please and thank you. Little Dude relearned how to be polite. Little Dude relearned how to listen the first time when asked.
We're hoping the boot camp will help whip Little Dude back into the amazingly well-behaved child we know he is. Stay tuned...
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
First Day of Kindergarten!
Today is my son's first day of Kindergarten! He is super excited. Can't you tell?
Daddy surprised us by meeting us in the school parking lot. Little Dude was definitely "too cool for school" as he walked to his class like a pro. When we got to his classroom and found his desk, he even pretended like he was already bored! Of course, he couldn't stop smiling!
I managed to get through the day without any tears. OK, maybe I was a little moody... but I was honestly too excited for him to cry about my baby growing up. That will come later.
Fun and exciting things are going to happen this year!
Daddy surprised us by meeting us in the school parking lot. Little Dude was definitely "too cool for school" as he walked to his class like a pro. When we got to his classroom and found his desk, he even pretended like he was already bored! Of course, he couldn't stop smiling!
I managed to get through the day without any tears. OK, maybe I was a little moody... but I was honestly too excited for him to cry about my baby growing up. That will come later.
Fun and exciting things are going to happen this year!
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