"God Made Poop!"

Most people never have the opportunity to combine theology with gastrointestinal issues. But nothing is off-limits in our family! So when I found myself telling my son last night that "God made poop," I realized our family had yet again wandered into exotic dialogue.

I haven’t seen an official poll, but I’m pretty sure that conversations about poop are not uncommon for households with little children. Of course, our household probably has an above-average amount of poo-related chats. Since he started eating solids at six months old, Little Dude has had an uncomfortably chronic digestive issue. So yes, we talk crap. And now that he’s almost four-years-old, the bathroom banter has become a little too common. There have even been a few times where I’ve had to stop the little guy – or even myself – from sharing too much information with people outside our family.

Another frequent discussion in our house is much more sacred. Little Dude loves going to church and prays to Jesus every night. He has a question about God almost every day. Where is God? Where does He live? Can I go visit Him in heaven?

It was inevitable that two of the most common conversations in our home would eventually collide and create a divine comedy!

It finally happened last night. Little Dude and I were having a lavatorial tête-à-tête on our way home from his cousin’s house. During the play date, my precious little boy thought he needed to use the potty. However, after an unsuccessful attempt, he informed us all, “I can only go poopy at home.”

Yes, this was going to be a problem.

So in the car, I was trying to reassure my son that it’s ok to use the potty at Auntie’s house or school or church or anywhere for Numero Dos. That led to a discussion about why he needs to go #2 (i.e. so his tummy doesn’t hurt, so he can have more room in his tummy for all the yummy food he likes, etc.). After a lengthy Why?inquisition from the back seat, I found myself falling on the crutch of “because that’s how God made you.” (“Because I said so” didn’t really fit here.)

“God made me poop?”

“Yes, hon, God made poop.”

So there you have it. Giant theological revelation: God made poop. I’m sure some it won’t make it into Max Lucado’s next book or even Rick Warren’s, but maybe it will at least help alleviate my son’s new concern over public pooping.